You expect their attention
So you judge their every move in accordance with yourself
A form of violence on them, as imposition, and on you as narcissistic delusion
If you love, truly, their actions would be of nothing in your feeling towards them
Because you let yourself write a narrative, you neglect your own desires
Because you can't get what you want, not because you want them to be happy
Too often have I used my pen
To critique and judge the world
Without taking into account
They ways in which I hurt
Only being the subject
When my narrative makes me the victim
Only criticizing myself
To save face
You probably know now
I've written hundreds of songs about you
I even wrote an album
Trying to put myself above through
Claiming you were arrogant
Ignorant and selfish
That you were the only problem
And I had nothing on me
Distorting what you said
To fit a narrative I liked
One that didn't make me the villain
Just a sad type
My pride came in and gave me
False delusions in reality
The fact is, I couldn't even
Fathom singularity
Everything was me me me
I could not talk without bragging about me
Boasting about me
Claiming that you had done things to me
Hurt me, rejected me
Neglected me and took off
The problem with that story is that
The pain was that which I caused
How can you embody love as a beacon when you selfishly neglect to love yourself
You speak of love, that's for sure
But recently I see it differently
My practice has lead to better things
Perhaps, if I may, I might explain
My point of view between refrains
I liked you when I met you
I think you felt that way too
Your girlfriend had noticed
Told you to make our little thing through
I took it to the chin but kept
A fantasy about you
Frequently at night
I would think of what you're up to
You confessed that you cheated on her
Told it to me in summer
I took it as you weren't happy
But that's not my position
But later on you're going on
About how things are going better
Even said you asked your girl
And she said we could talk together
I didn't see you til next summer
That's the summer after the other
And that summer held in store
A very different kind of bummer
Within two nights
I had my hands in your thighs
She was out of the picture
I had faith in your eyes
I kept going on about our connection
Withdrew into contradiction
With wanting to say I love you
But feeling this deep resentment
You like flattery
It pleases the ego
You chose me right?
That's how I thought about it
Never considering your state of mind
The guilt and what you pushed aside
For those two nights
I know you liked me just a bit too much
I know I also could be the reason
That it got fucked up
I understand that, I'm working on it
But I meant it with no ego
Compassion, empathy subtraction of self
I really loved you
Support, unconditional, impartial
I really loved you
But I said it without really ever truly
Thinking about you
If I really loved you I'd have
Truly let you go
Not transform into the victim
To make me feel less alone
When you came into the store
While I was working that day
I saved face by acting mean
I'm sorry for being that way
I'm sorry for what I imposed
What I expected was immature
What I wanted was a desire from
Self affirmation I should get a handle on
I'm sorry for a very special someone
The album made from delusion
The fact is, I got attached and then
Reacted with profusion
I'm sorry for trying to force you in a box
I'm sorry for my ego messing up
I'm sorry for every text I sent when you had said you had enough
I wasn't totally in the wrong though
She kissed a girl after you broke up
And that night you had your hands on me
But honestly, I can't compare, it's just violence
My honesty will help me liberate us from silence
I take the bad and good and sit before it with my
Eyes wide, understand, wont criticize
You talking too much shit bro
You got a certain bravery
I admire
To know what's good for yourself
And totally disregard the others
I'm proud of you
Your hard on yourself
You shouldn't be
I'm sorry that I expected you to love me
I'm sorry that I called you selfish
Because of my own wanting
I know that your a wonder
I bet deep down that I still love you
That's why I know it's unconditional cuz
Even when I see you as the villain
I can't accept it
And accepting that I fucked up was
The most valuable lesson
I see now how selfishness harms
Everyone around me
And how desire and attachment
Are often misconstrued for loyalty
And empathy is a good step
To thinking unconditionally
Every being wants to be happy
I was just thinking too much about me
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
Mila the special someone
I'd never mention my name
'Cuz I felt afraid
Mila you helped me see those
Fantasies I had
I am not your hero
When you sense it slipping, you panic
Clinging onto every bit of attention you can
You speak of love, but it's only when you fear it's fading
You speak of love, but only because your selfishness needs more praise
You speak of love, but until you free yourself
It's all you'll do