I used to dream that I would discover The perfect lover someday, I knew I'd recognize him if ever He came 'round my way. I always used to fancy then He'd be one of the God-like kind of men With a giant brain and a noble head Like the heroes bold In the books I've read. But along came Bill Who's quite the opposite of all The men in storybooks In grace and looks I know that Apollo Would beat him All hollow And I can't explain, It's surely not his brain That makes me thrill I love him because he's wonderful, Because he's just my Bill. He can't play golf or tennis or polo, Or sing a solo, or row. He isn't half as handsome As dozens of men that I know. He isn't tall or straight or slim And he dresses far worse than Ted or Jim. And I can't explain why he should be Just the one, one man in the world for me. He's just my Bill, an ordinary man, He hasn't got a thing that I can brag about. And yet to be Upon his knee So comfy and roomy Seems natural to me. Oh, I can't explain, It's surely not his brain That makes me thrill I love him because he's, I don't know Because he's just my Bill.