Open the door, Richard
Open the door and let me in
Open the door, Richard
Richard, why don't you open that door?
I met Old Zeke standin' on the corner the other day
That cat sure was booted with liquid
(He was what?)
He was abnoxicated
(He was what?)
He was inebriated
(He was what?)
Well, he was just plain drunk
(Well, all right then)
He sure was salty with the bartender
The bartender's tryin' to make him buy another drink
Zeke told the bartender, "Ain't no need of me buyin' no drinks
When everybody else is buyin' 'em
I'm gonna drink to everybody's health, 'til I ruin my own"
Open the door, Richard!
Why, he don't know who he's throwin' outta that joint
Why, I'll go back in that joint
And take a short stick
And bust it down to the ground!
Open the door, Richard!
But I hate to be caught out on the street like this
'Cause it makes you look so common
And I know I ain't common, 'cause I got class I ain't never used yet
But I guess I'd better get on in the house
'Cause I don't want my pastor to catch me out like this
Hey, Richard, open the door!
Now look at that old woman across the street
Done stuck her head outta the window, callin' her sister
Look at her hunchin', her sister sayin', "Ain't that him, ain't that him?"
Yes, it's me and I'm drunk again!
Open the door, Richard!
I know he's in there, 'cause I got on the clothes
They can't throw him out, 'cause I owe just as much back rent here as he does
Imagine that old woman chargin' us three Dollars a month
And gettin' mad 'cause we 12 months in the arrears
Come 'n' meetin' me last Thursday sayin'
"Ain't you boys goin' gimme some back rent?"
I told her she'd be lucky if she got some front rent
Open the door, Richard!
(Hey, Richard, open the door!)
'Cause I'm standin' here scratchin' in my pants pocket, and
Standin' here gropin' in my coat pocket, and
Standin' here feelin' in my shirt pocket, and I can't find the key
Hey, open the door, Richard!
Open the door, Richard
Open the door and let me in
Open the door, Richard
Richard, why don't you open that door?
Open the door, Richard!