Whenever sponge-nosed Pete
Met the cop on the beat
He was higher than a fly on a spray
Any day
When Pete knew he was booked
At the policeman he'd looked
And defending his virtue
You could hear him say
Have you got the gumption
To make the assumption
That I'm inebriated?
Have you got the gall
To say alcohol has gone to my wig?
I ain't had a drink, sir
Since I made the clink, sir
The night I celebrated
At the garbage man's ball
When we had that brawl
You remember, officer?
You may be the law
Still, there could be a flaw
In your calculations, old top
I got troubles enough
I ain't even touchin' the stuff
Not even a wee *hic* little drop
Just draw with some chalk, sir
A line and I'll walk, sir
Straighter than a judge man
Have you got the gumption
To make the assumption that I'm pinched?
Yes, you may be the law
Still, there could be a flaw
In your calculations, old top
I got troubles enough
I'm not even touchin' the stuff
Not even a wee *hic* little drop
Just draw with some chalk, sir
A line and I'll walk, sir
Straighter than a judge man
Have you got the gumption
To make the assumption that I'm pinched?
You mean officer, you're gonna put me in jail?
Don't close that gate!
Let me take a walk, I'll be straight
Hey officer!
Take these things off my arm
I ain't gonna do nobody no harm
Oh, officer!
I know the captain of the priest said-
Don't hit me with that blackjack
I ain't comin' back
Oh ociffer!
If I've got to go
Let me take my horn
So I could be real darn
Oh ociffer, you're doin' wrong, ociffer