The heir is introduced She waltzes through her ballroom Swirling in her sequins, showing off her gown She steps on her own train She falls, she cracks her jaw Aghast her husband giggles He gasps She slipped on spilled champaigne Chorus: And we crowd around the accident We want to see the worst We crowd around the accident We want to see what hurts They're leaning in the corner He's buried in a baggie They say he's mischevious sometimes She's pretty, and her elbows are so pointy They're dangerous talking in the locker room His nose bleeds so profusely But no one tell him he's the star They watch like at the movies that he's famous for CHORUS Two stories about to fall Boasting at the swing set, marching down the hall She yelled, 'cause he upset her desk Don't yell He's picking sides, he's hitching rides to school His father left in winter He's no one's son If I can poke her with a pencil, I can pop her with a gun CHORUS We think... I'm glad it wasn't me And turn up the TV And squeeze our eyes shut, but leave a space to see