Mistletoe Mistletoe alert Mistletoe Mistletoe alert I wanna party to remember The best of this New York December A fabulous and perfect fact A party no one will forget The catering will be sublime One of those waiters is more than fine I hope the guests will be impressed At least I won't be underdressed Mistletoe Mistletoe alert Mistletoe Mistletoe alert The holidays are a difficult time for me So I prepare for the coming onslaught Of eggnog and office parties Of shopping and ice-skating With copious amounts of drugs and alcohol To dull the screaming And if the party starts to waver I hope someone bring party favors Or at least something risqué A little naughty Or a little gay You look like shit Are you okay? I think it's too much red It's making me anxious Are you on something? I think I may be hallucinating Well then find a bathroom, Bateman Splash some water on your face, throw up Do something Yeah, yeah I'll see you in hell motherfucker I'll put some X in the eggnog Wait for a while The girls relax All the girls start to smile I'll open a gram Watch them go Now you see why Santa Loves the snow (Mistletoe) Some fucking leaves (Mistletoe) Above the door (Mistletoe) Can wait until the girls Are nailed to the floor