This didn't used to be me, old boy This isn't what I'd want Pullin' old night fighters In a restaurant There's smoke and flames behind me Where the self-respect all went And I'm behind, behind with the rent I've been stitched up like a kipper, old son But I won't be again Hell hath no fury Oh, I'm like a lot of men Now I'm stalkin' this old Doris With lascivious intent And I'm behind, behind with the rent Just a little duck and dive And a bit of wheel and deal She'll remind me I'm alive She'll remind me I still feel Just a little shellin' out For a bit of you-know-what I know this is all about Somethin' that I never got, oh Well, this crumpet's past its sell-by-date But they all would qualify They're gonna be lonely And be happy to comply She knows that I'm a chancer Comin' on like a gent But I'm behind, behind with the rent Yes, I'm behind, behind with the rent