Soggies suck I was sitting up at night I was feeling so uptight I was just fucking around There was something dragging me down Thinking of a bite to eat Thought this would be really neat Cheerios are stale that's beat But Captain Crunch is fun to eat Captain Crunch, Captan Crunch He's inviting you to munch Captain Crunch, Captain Crunch Munch a bunch a munch a munch Fuck my brain Scoffing down this yellow wheat Is making me feel kind of beat My head is spinning round and round Now my teeth are turning brown My face is starting to come apart From this overdose of starch I really wish mom wasn't here I'll have another box of beer Captain Crunch, Captain Crunch He's inviting you to munch Captain Crunch, Captain Crunch Munch a bunch a munch a munch