"What is it like to be you all the time?"
My sister Meredith asking all her hippy questions
The kind that make me laugh till I hear my reply
"I guess I don't like being inside my body"
At Mom and Dad's its a time warp
A time machine
Hard to remember my life back in Tennessee
What do I do all day if I get nothing done
I guess I spend most my time outside my body
It's my day off I'm alone
In my new house on my phone
Give me a perfectly good day
Filled with the things I claimed I needed
And I won't feel it
I check off all the boxes to draw new boxes in
I've gotta let this shit go
Screaming into a pillow
That feels a little better
I'll try again tomorrow
Looking at Dad it's so easy to see
The pain in a pint glass of gin at three
Mine is a silent killer, you'd never know
I'm on a treadmill, perfection just beyond my reach
It's my day off in the sun
But a good girl's never done
Give me a perfectly good day
Filled with the things I claimed I needed
And I won't feel it
I check off all the boxes to draw new boxes in
I've gotta let this shit go
Screaming into a pillow
That feels a little better
I'll try again tomorrow
I'm not fucking around
I'm staring down the belly of it
The very center I so carefully avoided
I'm not playing around I'm touching the tenderness
Finding the light inside my body