I called round last night
My best girl to see
Felt in such a plight
When she sat on my knee!
Oh dear, mother, well I didn't know what to do
Oh dear, mother, we shared the same chair too
She clung to me, both hard and fast
And thought her chance had come at last
But oh dear, mother, well I didn't know what to do!
Oh dear, mother, I didn't know what to do
Oh dear, mother, a wasp down her neck flew
It settled somewhere, I could tell
She told me where it was as well
But oh dear, mother, well I didn't know what to do!
At a christenin' once, I felt far from bold
When they gave to me the baby boy to hold
Oh dear, mother, well I didn't know what to do
Oh dear, mother, I wore me best suit too
They sprinkled water on 'is hair
There was water water everywhere
But oh dear, mother, well I didn't know what to do!
Oh dear, mother, well I didn't know what to do
Oh dear, mother, an old woman who lived in a shoe
I called to see her kids galore
She'd said she'd room for a couple more
But oh dear, mother, well I didn't know what to do!
Oh dear, mother, well I didn't know what to do
Oh dear, mother, when in the bed with 'flu
A young girl felt my pulse, but lor'!
My temperature rose more and more
And oh dear, mother, well I didn't know what to do!
Oh dear, mother, well I didn't know what to do
Oh dear, mother, while bathing in the blue
Some girls, when I came out undressed
Took snapshots of my family crest
And oh dear, mother, well I didn't know what to do
Oh dear, mother, well I didn't know what to do!