She always signs her letters "Worried Brown Eyes" The queen of every problem page at seventeen Never a week goes by but "Worried Brown Eyes" Is hanging out her heartachings in the ladies' weekly magazine She has got a boyfriend, name of Dickie Who would like to go too far You know what Dickies are And she is asking, is he honourable Or is he just a prancing Don Juan But worst of all, she fears Could she love a man who picks his ears? She always signs her letters "Worried Brown Eyes" She says she's got a little mole in a place where nobody's ever seen And she asks is it unsightly pretty "Brown Eyes" Seeking advice on mole-control in the ladies' weekly magazine Then of course, there's Dickie, desperate Dickie Who is growing very bold His hands are so cold Well now's your chance oh little "Brown Eyes" To be passionate and rash and indiscreet Body and soul, go on, give the lad a treat Show him your mole She always signs her letters "Worried Brown Eyes" Revealing every secret of her shy hygiene She'd like a bigger bosom, "Worried Brown Eyes" Thrashing out her tummy bulge in the ladies' weekly magazine Dickie's been molesting her and pestering her again He tries his luck He's running amok Every letter's full of tricky Dickie But this week I feel there's something new He must have made his move Something must have happened Her handwriting's improved Oh spare some kind of prayer for "Worried Brown Eyes" Queen of every problem page at seventeen There's never a week goes by but "Worried Brown Eyes" Is hanging out her desperations in the ladies' weekly magazine Would she do it, could she do it, should she? Opening up her heartachings so ill-advisedly Brown Eyes that nobody's ever seen With her Dickie-dido in the ladies' weekly magazine.