I can feel it coming like a void inside my stomach
Am I watching or performing?
And will you heed my warning
When I tell you that I have been here before?
Before
I can feel it flowing through my veins and through my blood
I can feel the hatred growing like a nearing crimson flood
Oh, I feel as if my conscience is drugged
Is drugged
I feel sick
I thought that I'd already filled this pit
I feel sick
And I'm not sure how much longer I'll hide it
Just how many times can I toe the line?
Does everything look fine?
Am I gonna meet the deadline?
Read between the lines
Can you see the signs?
Did you hear it from me
Or was it through the grapevine?
Tell me what I see, tell me what I fear
Tell me what I wanna hear
Tell me when my death will draw near
Play me like a fool until you disappear
Making me believe that all I do is insincere
Everything I see, everywhere I go
Like you're lookin' at me through a one-way window
"Sing a different song," "Play a different note."
You're a hidden disease without an antidote
I'll wear a thin disguise and tell the usual lies
Hit 'em right between the eyes and blame my mistakes on hindsight
Begin to believe in my own bullshit
Until one day, I admit
I feel sick
I thought that I'd already filled this pit
I feel sick
And I'm not sure how much longer I'll hide it
I feel sick
I thought that I'd already filled this pit
I feel sick
And I'm not sure how much longer I'll hide it
My mind is slowly numbing
To the pain, I am succumbing
Am I something? Am I nothing? Is it hatred? Is it loving?
I can feel the anger coming, it's a silence my chest
But the cancer keeps on growing, pretending it knows what's best
I can feel it slowly seeping, a parasite in the mind
Everything I see before me, everything I've left behind
It comes when I'm sleeping and then it festers when I wake
Before it finally explodes, manifesting as heartache
Please just tell me something that can put my soul to rest
Every emotion I have is one that I chose to repress
Because the only thing scarier than the thought I'm alone
Is the idea of taking that step into the unknown
It's safety in solitude, stay by myself
Don't give them the attitude, don't let them help
Because it's way easier to lie, and say that you're doing fine
Instead of opening up and giving your friends a thorough line
I can feel it coming, please don't make me open up
Yeah, I promise that we're better off just leaving this one shut
All this hatred stems from a place of love
Of love
So, please don't take it personally and please don't think me vile
But it's so much less disturbing just to grit your teeth and smile
So I think that I will stay here a while
A while
A while