As I was on the upper deck of a 37 bus I saw big jimmy swillin' wine and kickin' up a fuss The driver stoapped the bus right sharp And he belted up the sterr He says I'll have to throw ye aff the bus If ye gie us ony merr Aw pal nae offence big jimmy said If ye knew whit a've been through Ye widnae say such things tae me Or blame a man that's fu' Ah loast a pile oan the dugs the night Ahl have ye for to know Awe ma wages doon the stank Fir a dug that widnae go The driver said he couldnae gie monkeys fk Or gie a tinker's curse Yer swearin' and yer bawlin' Is distressin' awe the bus Ave heard jist aboot enough o' ye A lot mair than ah need If ye don't haud that big tongue o' your's Ahl shove it doon yer heid Big jimmy smiled and picked his nose And he finished aff his wine He said wit you've jist said tae me His went right oot o' line Ave finished aff 15 like ye Jist tae get intae a fight So get doon oan yer knees and pray fir help Ya durty little Shte The bus wis in an uproar As people goat aff furst Wi' good old Glasgow chivalry The women and children last They gathered roon an shouted oot Fir they didnae like big jim Come on driver sink the boot Get stuck right intae him Noo the driver smiled and he waded in Kickin' an' swingin' blows Till he finally goat jims big squerr heid Planted oan his nose Jim's knee came up an' e's fist came doon Til the driver moved nae mair So e' jumped a couple o' times oan e's heid As he twitched oan ra flerr At this a hunner polismen came up tae capture jim In three's an fours an' dozens therr He laid them oot roon him Till finally they soarted im' oot When the army brought a tank But ah coontid 40 polis hats floatin' doon the stank So if yer ever oan the upper deck O' a 37 bus an' ye see big jimmy swillin' wine An' kickin' up a fuss Don't try tae apprehend him or put big jimmy aff Cause the whole o' the Glesga polis force Still cannae afford the staff