Harlan's papa wouldn't stay in the ground Dead and buried and he walked into town Lord God, what is Ma to do Mama's so mad cause he muddied up his suit Caught in a thorn bush, blowin on a flute Lord God, what is Ma to do One two three for five six seven eight nine thousand Everybody calm down please stop shouting Go on the run call 911 Calm down, calm down, calm down One two three for five six seven eight nine housand Fire, Fire at the pageant Would everybody calm down please stop shouting Go on the run call 911 Calm down, calm down, calm down If he did drive into town Everyone would stand around, and stare Harlan's girl would catch a glimpse In the mirror as she crimps her hair Harlan's papa wouldn't stay in the ground Dead and buried and he walked into town Lord god what is Ma to do Mama's so mad 'cause she can't scare him off Even if she's wrapped in a table cloth Oh Lord what is Ma to do One two three for five six seven eight nine thousand Would everybody calm down please stop shouting Go on the run call 911 Calm down, calm down, Calm down One two three for five six seven eight nine thousand Fire, Fire at the pageant Everybody calm down please stop shouting Go on the run call 911 Calm down, calm down, calm down One two three for five six seven eight nine thousand Fire, Fire at the pageant Everybody calm down please stop shouting Go on the run call 911