I know all the times were hard I know that you've been feeling down If you only knew how I'm feeling for you If I could take your pain I wish that I could wash it all away If you only knew how I'm feeling Mommy, I'm sorry if my first letter made you cry To be honest with you, I don't think that I want to die Sometimes I feel like that I'm cancerous in other's lives That's probably why I drink at night and sleep 'til four or five It's kind of hard walkin' through life with my distorted eyes When I was younger, I was stupid and I thought I'd thrive I thought a lot about everything I said in the letter And questioned whether or not if I was dead, you'd be better You think my shorty would be happy if I never met her? It's too late now, mommy, I could never forget her Could never forget how she taught me to love 'Cause my father and my grandmother is always above It's glory above, you know that daddy taught me to thug And every time we was with nanny she'd bombard me with hugs Damn, I miss her, mommy, and it's hard to believe That I'm grown and I don't understand it, why did they leave? Better to die and sleep The never-waking sleep Than linger on and dare to live When the soul's life is gone You've been running around for so long You've been hurting yourself too much You keep messing around with darkness You're the one who's losing You've been running around for so long You've been hurting yourself too much You keep messing around with darkness You're the one who's losing Mommy, I think that I'ma try to stick around a while I got a niece, and my nephews, they need me 'round a while I think they need me 'cause they hittin' that age And they ain't tryin' to speak to Lenny 'cause they spittin' they rage Yeah, and mommy, speakin' to Lenny, I think my brother need me And we Italian, so you know my mother love to feed me And it's the little things you do for me that make it worth it Like when I play a joint that we did and you say it's perfect And when Jake got knocked, you knew that I was hurt You told me put all of my heart in the song, and it worked I promised him that I'd be there when he got out the bing You ain't raise me to be a liar, ma, that's not my thing I told him that I'd hold him down the whole time that he gone They kept him locked inside a cage, but that's cool, 'cause he's strong So mommy, keep that first letter I wrote you on the low I think I wanna stay alive and see if I can grow You've been running around for so long You've been hurting yourself too much You keep messing around with darkness You're the one who's losing You've been running around for so long You've been hurting yourself too much You keep messing around with darkness You're the one who's losing You have power and money, but you are mortal You know you cannot escape death But immortality can be obtained The legend is always the same If others have succeeded in conquering death Why must we accept it? I know where the immortals live And how to obtain their secret We too must become wise men The elements of chemistry are many, but finite So are the techniques of enlightenment I know all the times were hard I know that you've been feeling down If you only knew how I'm feeling for you If I could take your pain I wish that I could wash it all away If you only knew how I'm feeling