All across the country
We're getting in a mess
There's something that we need to sort
What is it, can you guess?
If you go down to the shops
And a bread roll's what you choose
Here's a question for you
Just what name do you use?
You shouldn't call it a muffin
It isn't a cob
If you think that it's a teacake
You should shut your gob because
It's called a barm-cake, barm-cake
A barmcake can't you see
It's a barm-cake, barm-cake
Please name it properlee
If call it summat else,
I'll have to raise the alarm
Coz you're saying it the wrong way
It's a barm, it's a barm
At the chippy you want something
That's gonna hold your chips
But don't let me hear the wrong words
Come out of your lips
Don't be asking for a chip batch
Don't order a chip roll
You know what name you need to use
You don't need to be told
It's not a breadcake or a stottie
Or a bara that's wrong!
To clear the matter up
I want you singing along
It's called a barm-cake a barm-cake
A barmcake can't you see
It's a barm-cake, a barm-cake
Please name it properlee
If call it summat else,
I'll have to raise the alarm
Coz you're saying it the wrong way
It's a barm, it's a barm
We call it summat different
All across the land
But I am right and you are wrong
Why can't you understand??
It's a barm-cake a barm-cake
A barmcake can't you see
It's a barm-cake, a barm-cake
Please name it properlee
If call it summat else,
I'll have to raise the alarm
Coz you're saying it the wrong way
It's a barm, it's a barm
Let me hear you sing along hey
It's a barm, it's a barm