A Shearer with a mullet walked into the shed,
He lid up his rolly and said: hey it's going, my name's Ted
I've come from Up Black Ole, I'm glad to meet you all
Done a couple of months, run Broken Hill,
Last week I was installed. He said:
My kids don't need new shoes, my misses needs new bloomers,
I've got bills I haven't paid and
I've got fines I'd better pay sooner,
But my wallet is empty as my guts, my you've met smarter dogs
So I better pull my finger up and down and drop the cogs,
Everybody that was there,
Was struck with awe by this man's presence
Cos' they knew he was the real thing -
A True Shearer from the heavens
It was just a little cocky job, it'd take a week at most.
Couple of solid days in wethers,
Then they'd hit the use and coast
Amanda was the rousie, the Cocky was the klassa,
His misses made the smoko,
She put cheese on saladas. A couple of local Shearers -
An old one and a young one. And a cocky's son was rowsie too,
Now the good one bummed the dumb one.
Then it's 7:30, bombs away, the mullet man was up it.
He threw the hand-piece faster than anyone has done it.
Well, He shore so hard,
He shore so fast, their mouths are open wide
He shore so fast, then by half past he dropped out 55
He shore so hard, he shore so fast,
They could not believe their eyes
But he shore so hard, he couldn't last, he shore so hard he died.
He Shore so Hard He Died.
By Jingo this bloke's up 'em. Said the cocky to Amanda
And the others as they chew their chops
For lunch on their veranda.
They had never seen this wethers shorn,
The way this fella shore them.
And they all agreed that they indeed had a busy day before them.
Because the wool was coming off, at nearly twice the normal pace
So everybody had to race to keep up with this man's pace.
Now, off into the afternoon they knew they had more coming.
Ted was stropping out a comb and
Shore to keep the rowsies running.
It was halfway through the third run, when our hero turn was tested.
When dehydration pressed and the hallucinations pested.
He continued in his frenzy, though his muscles felt on fire.
Then he heard his long-dead father's voice
Call out from somewhere higher.
He said go my son, don't give up. Tear these pricks apart.
You have always done me proud, because you've got a massive heart.
And in Ted's mind the starts aligned and time itself eroded.
He dragged the wether to the board and just exploded.
It was unrelenting, bombs away the mullet man was up it.
Thrown the wing his faster than anyone has done it.
Well, He shore so hard, he shore so fast, their mouths are open wide
He shore so fast, then by half past he dropped out 55
He shore so hard, he shore so fast, they could not believe their eyes
But he shore so hard, he couldn't last, he shore so hard he died.
He Shore so Hard He Died.
Ted kicked it up another gear, the whole shed started shaking.
The sky at sight came full of clouds, the storm was in the making.
The Shearer's sweat was running hot,
And when it turned to steam
A great white flash of blinding light,
Showed out from where he'd been.
So they turned their heads to shield their eyes,
And when the light was gone
Saw a spectrum slowly rising, but still shearing on and on.
He was floating in the air now. At least 5 feet high or better.
The down tube rising with him and a massive wrinkly wether.
He was pumping on the long blow, somehow dancing on his feet.
Every blow was running sweet, as he moved around the sheep.
His hand was light and clever, there was mischief in his smile.
As if you'd just worked out a joke, but it had taken you a while.
The room was getting hotter, he was holding it flat necker.
Then he thundered down the last side
And that's when the magic happened
A second flash of lightning, followed by one minute's darkness
And when the light returned, just his body laying lifeless.
There was nothing they could do,
Because the mullet man had done it.
Smashed into the next I mention just by how hard he got up it.
Well, He shore so hard, he shore so fast, their mouths are open wide
He shore so fast, then by half past he dropped out 55
He shore so hard, he shore so fast, they could not believe their eyes
But he shore so hard, he couldn't last, he shore so hard he died.
He Shore so Hard He Died.
Whether an achievement or whether a disaster,
His life insurance paid out and his kids were well looked after.
His misses sold her interview to the highest bidding paper,
Amanda's book was published and their movie was made later.
The farmer's son became switched on,
The farm had grew and grew.
The local shearers work there now, and half the town does too.
Because all the tourists come to see where Teddy made his name.
And his ghost is drinking long-necks in the Shearer's hall of fame.
Yeah, his ghost is drinking long necks
In the Shearer's hall of fame.
He is sharing rowdy stories with past legends of the game.
Borgo's there and Belly too, then of course there is the Gawja
Their laughter rose out endlessly into the tiny hours.
All the rouseabout and class's past well-loved and renowned.
Are reaching in the esky for another coaking brown
While a famous wether wrestler place, they love him far and wide.
But there's none there more respected
Than the man who shore so hard he died.
So, with your feeling game, then, go on and get up it.
Hard work's not going to kill you,
But there's one man who has done it.
Well, He shore so hard, he shore so fast, their mouths are open wide
He shore so fast, then by half past he dropped out 55
He shore so hard, he shore so fast, they could not believe their eyes
But he shore so hard, he couldn't last, he shore so hard he died.
He Shore so Hard He Died.