When a woman like me
Of un certain âge
Meets a man that she likes
On the prom or the plage
She knows that he's bound to come
Bearing baggage
The emotional kind
So what, I don't mind
For a woman like me who is
Racy and fast
Must admit to a rippingly colourful past
And just look around you
The choice isn't vast
I'd probably make due
Well, almost, with you
Except I'm in love with a man who I'm dating
We're mad for each other, it's simply elating
And the best of it all is he's separating
So he cannot move in right away
But he loves me
So what can I say?
Is he fantastic? He's topping
Generous with plastic out shopping
Handsome, though greying, and so distingué
He loves to buy me lingerie, phones twice a day
Lovely weekends in secluded hotels
He's even hinted at wedding bells
But we'll have to wait
Ere the banns can be read
'Cause he's a teensy bit more married than he said
Is he a charmer, he's nifty
Quite the disarmer for fifty
He says he can't leave the twins, who are eight
I've told him I'm prepared to wait
He thinks that's great
Often we manage to meet at weekends
That's if she hasn't invited their friends
Seems the poor darling is too thinly spread
But then he's quite a bit more married than he said
Is he my mate, oh of course sir
He just can't wait to divorce her
When he is with her he only pretends
He's always having to make amends for lost weekends
God how he suffers, he feels such a louse
I can't see why he should give up the house
Doesn't she realise their marriage is dead?
Or is he quite a lot more married than he said?
Is he a cad? Oh please, God, no
But he's a maddening sod, though
Weekends I spend pouring over my chart
He calls to say I must not lose heart, they sleep apart
But I can't say that it gives me a boost
Knowing right now she is being induced
Next time I see him, I'll kick in his head
'Cause he's a bloody sight more married than he said
If only he wasn't so brilliant in bed
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
But he's definitely more
Infinitely more
Miles more married than he said
Oh!