I have a shop It is a sausage shop And I sell sausages by the sausage In my sausage shop You need a sausage? I have the sausage for you Just come and ding-dong on my sausage shop And I'll find the perfect banger for you I have pork and garlic sausage I have pork and apple sausage I have sausage with pork & herbs And I also have chili (It's a spicy porky willy) I have chicken sausage And turkey sausage I have lamb and beef And so many sausages Yes I love a good sausage And I know you do So step into my sausage boudoir And I'll find the perfect banger for you There are so many wonderful, magical Marvelous, fantastical, fa-lastical Terrible things you can do with a sausage You can do with a sausage You can do with a sausage You can do with a sausage And I promise you honestly the meat Inside my sausage is fresh as fresh can be (No bones) I guarantee that my slippery tubes of meat Will make you smile Imagine a life with no sausage What a dystopia it would be To not have the feeling of holding A ripe piggy finger in my hand I just can not imagine it The warmth in my heart When I'm grinding the meat And I'm adding ingredients You cannot beat The sensation of banger creation My wee-willy-winkies I can't bear to think-y My babies, My lovers Just kidding My sweety frank furters I won't ever hurt ya I promise you Mummy Will stay by your side To cradle and promenade My meat-creations, my pride I'm declaring this now To both man & bird I will spread my sausage All over the world I'll bring joy & peace To all in this land, we will walk As one, with sausage in hand So don't you deny me this My one true love, the gift From the Sausage Gods High up above My little Miss Piggies In their little skin sackies Are the only thing that Make me truly happy (...Sit down.) So come on down to my shop (Come on down to her shop) It is a sausage shop (It's still a sausage shop) We have the scrummiest, yummiest tasties In my sausage shop (Sorry if this was gargantuan waste of everyone's time) So come down & be awed at my sausage (People of the world, get out your sausage) Vive la Re'volution! (Vive la Sausage) I have never felt the love of a human It's my sausage shop! This next song we used to sing when we lived in Canada And we'd get quite homesick. We decided to write this Song that we could sing when we felt homesick. So we Wrote it in the style of an Old English folk song to Remind us of the good old days in England