The family's in a feud The tree's a tinderbox Mother's in a mood It's Christmas on the rocks The goose is overcooked The world is overwrought God is overbooked It's Christmas on the rocks But still we aim to fill our spirits to the brim Praise the lord and pass the scotch A brandy's handy when the world is looking grim Yes it's Christmas on the rocks Brother's in a brood Sister's on the sauce Father's getting stewed It's Christmas on the rocks And yet we'll never fret for want of alcohol Hallelujah have some schnapps My friend a bourbon is the greatest gift of all When it's Christmas on the rocks Baby please come home Home is where the heartache is But home is where the hard stuff is 'Tis the season to be home Tidings unto you Let's skip the parting shots I've got the whisky flu Another Christmas on the rocks And though we'll ne'er say no to friends or alcohol Come next year I got some thoughts To each must I beseech bring only Tylenol If it's Christmas on the rocks Yes it's Christmas on the rocks When it's Christmas on the rocks I'll have a Christmas on the rocks