Once pleased with this life
Encouraged by my dreams
But now I just vegetate, life's not as it once seems
The perception of truth is hard to endure
What formerly made a sense
Now just meaningless and obscure
Confused in this being
There's nothing left to believe
No more for me to await
No good perspective, I conceive
I've lost all the dreams which gave life a worth
Where is the truth I believed in since birth?
Just the realization that I trusted a lie
Why to live? I'd rather die!
Existing surrounded by mendacious creations
I am weary of it!
They scorn me, I'm just a "pessimistic crank"
But sorry, I'm not able to ignore and forget
I'm seeking for these problems
Which I never could solve on my own
I'm dreaming away the real existing world
So I'm unfitted for life
Voluntary death I now spawn
...my death... ...I'll arrive soon...
Just a mental void forfeit life's essence
All I wish now is soon to come to an end
No more aims to strive for
No strength to continue
Deep in me my death has already come true
("The farewell letter")
I'm finished with reality
It's too long since I've turned away
Now retreated in a world of dreams
Where's neither doubt nor dismay
I've lost all my fears
To make it come real
Always the redemption in mind
I'm convinced that I can't go astray
The moment draws near for me to surrender
I'm prepared to decease
So I'm ready to enter my last resort...