A glass of plain water for me A glass of plain water for me Dispenser man, if you please Serve my chick a mess of calories A glass of plain water for me Slip back the lid, scoop everything in sight Make it a rainbow of red, brown and white Chocolate chip and everything that's nice Tutti-frutti once and spumoni twice And a glass of plain water for me Spray the whipped cream for at least an hour Pile it as high as the Eiffel Tower Load it with nuts, about sixteen tons Top it with a pizza just for fun And a glass of plain water for me A glass of plain water for me A glass of plain water for me Stack her up with crazy goo 'Cause that's the stuff she likes to wade right through A glass of plain water for me Now add the cherries the kind she loves to munch Skip one banana, use the whole darn bunch Drown it in fudge, six or seven cans Give her two spoons, she'll eat it with both hands And a glass of plain water for me Separate checks, it must be Charge the split to her, the water to me Oh the banana split's for my baby And the glass of plain water's for me Ain't got no money The glass of plain water's for me