Ya'll product meetings suck! You hacks leave me baffled So slack jawed I wanna smack ya'll with a laptop! I'm up on Tumblr while you corporate clowns bungle up priorities Preach on market fit without authority "Your spreadsheet is boring, B" Keep that junior dev team quarantined! Feed em sprint points rather than a proper raise Kind of funny CS dummies go to code camp but can't get Agile for the wage blaze We can settle this like men in the ping pong den Yeah, yeah "ping" for serve—we both know how it's gonna end Me: not a single sleeve rolled up... and you? Disheveled, unkept, soaking through your Trunk Club Go ahead and drop that topspin trash, B! They call me "Backboard" because nothing gets passed me Now hobble back to your ergonomic ivory tower and let me jump on Slack to let the team know that you're still wack, coward