If I was the Lone Ranger Hiding behind a mask Wouldn't be any danger to the questions I ask What ya say Pocahontas Trade in your feathers and beads For an electric blanket And a packet of cigs "You bet" That's what she said If I had me a needle For every bubble that popped Bind them all up like one You would hear that pin drop like a gun shot Like a shot And if I was a world leader I would not mislead the world I would not miss anything Miss America knows That it's only a pageant That it's only a show Isn't even film in the camera These aren't even my clothes No, no, no, no Miss America knows You remember Houdini Who not a shackle could hold Carved a trap door into heaven To escape growin' old Guess he just couldn't hack it Bundled up for the cold Double-breasted straightjacket French handcuffs of gold No, no, no, no He escaped growin' old The growing old