I think Colonel Mustard Did it in the billiard room Yeah yeah They say his salsa workshops Are a harbinger of doom Yeah yeah He's takin' itsy bitsy Super pointy stipsies Straight to the middle of the Dancefloor He does the Hokey Pokey Now the room is getting smokey He won't read you your rights Before they turn out the lights He's got his mother's hips He does the dippity dip He's got delicious quips He's got his mother's hips He thinks he's going downtown And now he's smacking his lips He. Does. Not. Speak Your. Language Watch your back His tongue is super dangerous He's got his thigh-highs And his roller-skates ON You are rolling the dice He wants you on thin ICE He's serving cheese fondue ON the polar bear rug But the room is bugged You got MESMERIZED by the lava lamp But now the carpet's damp He's tryin' to sell you some stamps He's got his mothers' hips He's on an ego trip He's got sartorial tips He's got his mother's hips He thinks he's going downtown And now he's smackin' his lips He's got his mother's hips He does the dippity dip He's got delicious quips Now baby He's got his mother's hips He thinks he's goin' downtown And now he's smackin' his lips