I cried the day my grandfather no longer knew my face I wept by the window when he died And when my mother called long distance To say her mother passed away I blubbered on the bus, I couldn't hide I've cried out many broken hearts I've sobbed in countless drinks Over girls with faces I barely now recall I bawled in a ball on the kitchen floor When living was too much Pick a room, I've wept in them all But I can't tell you why Tonight my eyеs are dry I always cry at musicals When loving dreams arе sung I've stained many books, their stories false and true I cry at rom-coms, dramedies The news and children's films The Muppet Movie, Frozen, Frozen 2 But I can't tell you why Tonight my eyes are dry What would you call the opposite of a comedian? Whatever it is, that's what I wanted to be I dreamed of touring the country Playing small gigs in intimate venues Sitting on stage in a leather wingback armchair And telling tales of woe The audience would join me in a long collective cry We would all weep together as one I even planned the merchandise A hundred percent cotton souvenir handkerchiefs Embroidered with tour dates Available in the foyer after the show I'm waiting for the waterworks to come But I don't feel a thing, I'm just exhausted and numb I need some release, I need to make it all real A lacrimal Niagara, a dramatic reveall