Well on a Monday I'll be slingin' hash Tuesday I'll be collectin' trash And on a Wednesday I might be tendin' bar Thursday I'll be the guy who parks your car On a Friday I might be teachin' school a Saturday finds me hustlin' pool I got a whole lotta talents in demand that's why they call me Handy Man Pow-pow-pow-hum all the neighborhood girls and boys Pow-pow-pow-pow they come to me to mend their toys Ta-ra-ra-ra their daddys call me to mow their lawn And their mama's all horny when their daddys are gone I can drive a tractor or wheel a truck I can deal a hand at poker with exceptional luck And I can chop down a redwood usin' just one hand That's why they call me Handy Man Pow-pow-pow-pow-hum yeah you know if you need me for emergencies I can come round you know work around the house Or the backyards or somethin' not too taxin' no Yeah on six in the morning I'm out pickin' fruits 8: 45 I'm back pressin' suits Twelve o'clock you'll see me shinin' shoes the coctail hour I'll be a servin' booze I can wash your windows or walk your pet Get your color reception and on a black and white set Yeah I can play concerto on your baby grand cause I'm a huh Handy Man Pow-pow-pow-hum all the neighborhood girls and boys Pow-pow-pow-pow they come to me to mend their toys Ta-ra-ra-ra their daddys call me to mow their lawn And their mama's all horny when their daddy's not at home I save my evenings for a brand new faces Weekends are reserved for a emergency cases I tell you babe you gotta understand that I'm a handy man I mean a handy man you know what I am I mean a handy man