Dear friend I'm writing to you here from the depths of hell I don't know how I got here but I'm after all quite well You just stayed at the entry and never went ahead I've been drunk, confused and dull and I fell down as a dumb It's not as bad as expected here, but I guess I'm still banjaxed I noticed I was in hell when I found out it's not me bed The devil is such a pretty face so different from my thoughts She's dressed up in a red coat with no horns on the head But Hell is empty, the devils are out there They make us weak and lazy And our memories get hazy On a drifting ship that's built to sink I struggle and I strive But a drop of pain and a pint of plain could make you feel alive Oh Jaysus how she looked good, such a deceiving fate I tried, retried the one more time, but it was a bit too late It's a lesson that I know so well but promptly I forget Nothing could be harmless when it looks too bloody hot The funny thing is that there is nothing I did wrong Yes maybe a porter less and something would be not 'Cause when the devil wove his web I wasn't very sober And I didn't realise 't was a wicked, twisted plot But Hell is empty, the devils are out there They make us weak and lazy And our memories get hazy On a drifting ship that's built to sink I struggle and I strive But a drop of pain and a pint of plain could make you feel alive There's an echo resounding when I'm singing aloud And there's no one at the bar to pour me my last round I feel my throat is dry and a headache drives me mad This is bound to be the worst hangover that I'll ever have But, dear friend of mine, at the end I pay to stay A drop of pain and a pint of plain could make me feel alive A drop of pain and a pint of plain now make me feel alive Deep in hell I've nothing more but I felt and feel alive But Hell is empty, the devils are out there They make us weak and lazy And our memories get hazy On a drifting ship that's built to sink I struggle and I strive But a drop of pain and a pint of plain could make you feel alive But a drop of pain and a pint of plain could make you feel alive But a drop of pain and a pint of plain could make you feel alive