"Oh, criminals in this town used to believe in things. Honor. Respect. Look at you! What do you believe in, huh? WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN?" "I believe whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you... stranger." Good evening ladies and gentlemen We are tonight's entertainment How about a magic trick? I'm gonna make this pencil disappear You see, I'm a guy of simple taste I enjoy dynamite and gunpowder and gasoline You have all these rules and you think they'll save you No, you need an ace in the hole (Freak) You wanna know how I got these scars? My father was a drinker and a fiend And one night he goes off Crazier than usual Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself He doesn't like that (not one bit) So, me watching, he takes the knife to her Laughing while he does it He turns to me and says (why so serious?) Comes at me with the knife (why so serious?) He sticks the blade in my mouth Let's put a smile on that face And why so serious? (Look at me) Why so serious? (You're crazy) I'm not. No, I'm not. (Look at me) Why so serious? (You're crazy) This city deserves a better class of criminal And I'm gonna give it to them Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I am a dog chasing cars I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it You know, I just do things Duce a little anarchy Come on I want you to do it, I want you to do it You have nothing, nothing to threaten me with If you're good at something never do it for free (Freak) Oh, you look nervous, is it the scars? You want to know how I got 'em? So I had a wife and she was Beautiful like you Who tells me I worry too much, who tells me I ought to smile more Who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks One day they carve her face and we have no money For surgeries, she can't take it I just want to see her smile again, I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars. So, I stick a razor in my mouth (And do this) to myself and you know what? She can't stand the sight of me (she leaves) Now I see the funny side Now I'm always smiling (Look at me) Why so serious? (You're crazy) I'm not. No, I'm not. (Look at me) Why so serious? (You're crazy) This city deserves a better class of criminal And I'm gonna give it to them Let's put a smile on that face Come on Don't talk like one of them, you're not Even if you'd like to be To them you're just a freak like me They need you right now But when they don't they'll cast you out Like a leper You see Their morals Their code It's a bad joke I'm just ahead of the curve (Look at me) Why so serious? (You're crazy) I'm not. No, I'm not. (Look at me) Why so serious? (You're crazy) This city deserves a better class of criminal And I'm gonna give it to them