"Is everybody ready?" asked the Sergeant of the men
Our hero couldn't answer so they asked him once again
Then they pushed him out the door while his static line unhooked
And he ain't gonna jump no more
Gory gory paratrooper,
Gory gory paratrooper,
Gory gory what a heck of a way to die,
He ain't gonna jump no more
He offered up a fervent prayer, his voice no longer mute
He felt the wind whistling through his helment and his suit
Then suddenly the silk splilled out, and wrapped about his boot
And he ain't gonna jump no more!
Gory gory paratrooper,
Gory gory paratrooper,
Gory gory what a heck of a way to die,
He ain't gonna jump no more!
The lines were snarled around his neck, connectors on his ear
The risers wrapped around his leg, the ground was coming near
The wind that whistled in his ear became a nasty roar
And he ain't gonna jump no more.
The happy days of childhood kept running through his mind
He thought about the girl back home, the girl he'd left behind
He thought about the medics, he wondered what they'd find
Cause he ain't gonna jump no more!
Then suddenly he hit the ground, he made an awful "Splat!"
The crunchies heard the impact, they wondered "What was that?"
His boots went through his tunic, went right up through his hat
And he ain't gonna jump no more!
The ambulance came screaming by, the whistles wildy wailed
The medics ran with happy shrieks to where that mess had bailed
For it has been at least a week since any chute had failed,
And he ain't gonna jump no more!
Well they poured him on the table till the chaplain came around, and he said some words of comfort for that wet and sticky mound. Then they poured him in a bottle and sank it underground.
And he ain't gonna jump no more.