I'm addicted
I know that now
Sure, at first it was recreational
A little bit here, a little bit there
But it never stays that way
At least not for me
No, it always gets deeper and deeper
Until something rips me out from under the influence
Except, this time
Nothing ripped me out from under the influence
It grew, like a budding rose
A want
A need
Until I woke up one morning
And looked to my side to find
I wasn't alone anymore
Jesus, what a drug
It doesn't make you feel drained the next day
Doesn't give you brain fog
Doesn't waste you away
And it doesn't kill you
It makes you feel alive
Hungry, curious, ecstatic, energized
Contemplative, wise, foolish, and everything in between
For God's sake, music sounds better
Food tastes better
Colors are brighter, and work
Work doesn't feel like work anymore
It's as if every
Day is a hot summer day in July
Or a rainy afternoon in October
Or a snowed in night in December
Like tonight is
So I have to ask myself, right
What do I want? What do I want
For once in my goddamn life, I'm not listening to anyone else
This addiction, not an addiction of the flesh
But an addiction of the heart is telling me one thing
So I get up
I cross the room
I grab her by her hand
I look her dead in the eyes
And I say those words
Or I try to
Because I'll probably fuck it up
For a guy that doesn't know how to shut up
I somehow can't find the words
But I don't have to
Because they were given to me
I have them already
Right here
Right here in my pocket
Etched in gold
Rose gold
So I hold them up
And it says
In three words
What I couldn't say in a thousand years
To my rose
And the rest is history