Gather round kids I'll tell you all some stories of what life was like before the internet We wandered round Our neighborhoods aimlessly Lighting things on fire and smoking cigarettes And your dad Probably tried pot If he said he didn't then he is a liar He met your mom When she was passed out on the floor at a party And that's why they don't let you outside Oh gather round kids I'll tell you all some stories of what it was like before Facebook ruined everything We went to concerts To watch the performers Not staring at a livestream on our cell phone screens We did nice things for each other Without posting about it on our status We got in fights And beat the crap out of eachother With our fists instead of through nasty comments Gather round kids I'll tell you all some stories of what it was like before Instagram ruined pictures We used cameras and got the film developed And people couldn't even hide behind filters Now your dad is looking at porn on Tumblr And your mom is cheating on your dad through Tindr Swipe right Does anyone remember The days when we used to like to go outside? Gather round kids I'll tell you all some stories of what life was like before the internet We wandered round Our neighborhoods aimlessly Lighting things on fire and smoking cigarettes And your dad Took a bunch of acid Met your mom And they cut all of their classes Went to a party and conceived you on the floor And that's why they don't let you outside anymore Yea that's why we don't let kids outside