Lay down your pistols Pick up a can of red paint Don't curse the papers Think of all the friends that you could make We the masters and deceivers run the show I ain't spewing out the truth for any fool to know You've got strings so we've got wires to control As the film rolls It's what we owe Entertainment, more than tickets sold Is this a playhouse Or a funhouse where the world outside goes black? "It's just a movie" So you say until your seats are zapped We've got nurses, should you faint at any time We've got hearses revved up at the ready, should you die It's all covered here, in print, above the dotted line So go ahead and sign And down go the lights Entertainment, out of black and white King of the show, lord of the lies Master of a thousand faces masked in disguise I got thrills, but if you like 'em cheap Then here's a TV Stay home and sleep And make way for the tricksters Who make way for the treats Do not enter This is not for children, guaranteed Caveat Emptor All this make you wanna come and see? And if halfway through, you're far too afraid You can have your money back And I'll still be paid No one's ever stood and walked out to this very day And that's entertained Terrified and amazed Like tall coasters roll, it's what you're owed Now that's what I call a show