You've got your peius in a curl
But your driver's licence says you're a girl
You've got black slacks and a small round hat
You feel like Yentl (What's that?) It's Pat!
Everyone says you're what you're not
You didn't even drive here because it's Shabbat
You love your car so much, you want to lube her
But you're stuck in line reading Martin Buber!
You're FTM at the DMV
You're FTM at the DMV
FTM at the DMV
And you're a Conservadox Jew!
The girls in the line treat you like a pariah
A crazy old man's shouting 'bout the messiah
The workers are laughing at your legal name
You're full of pastrami and societal shame!
Everyone says you're what you're not
You didn't even drive here because it's Shabbat
You love your car so much, you want to lube her
But you're stuck in line reading Martin Buber!
FTM at the DMV
You're FTM at the DMV
FTM at the DMV
And you're a Conservadox Jew!
Your mama's sittin' shiva 'cuz punk is dead!
Your papa's sittin' shiva 'cuz punk is dead!
Your uncle's sittin' shiva 'cuz punk is dead!
Your grandma's sittin' shiva 'cuz punk is dead!
Your tante's sittin' shiva 'cuz punk is dead!
Your rabbi's sittin' shiva 'cuz punk is dead!
Your cantor's sittin' shiva 'cuz punk is dead!
Your mohel's sittin' shiva 'cuz punk is dead!
You're FTM at the DMV
FTM at the DMV
FTM at the DMV
And you're an Atheist Jew!
You're FTM at the DMV
FTM at the DMV
FTM at the DMV
And you're an Anarchist Jew!
You're FTM at the DMV
FTM at the DMV
FTM at the DMV
And you're the Wandering Jew!
You're FTM at the DMV
FTM at the DMV
FTM at the DMV
And you're a Jew Jew Jew!