I met a boy at a potluck brunch
Sipping on dumpster Hawaiian punch
He was a vegan with a heart of kale
He kissed my neck and began to wail:
"Do it yourself
Dumpster dive
Eat that strawberry, you'll survive
Do it yourself
Dumpster dive
Eat that muffin, eat me alive"
He wore stolen Converse and liked The Clash
I'd never eaten out of the trash
He offered me his beans and roots
I helped myself to his gluten-free glutes
Do it yourself
Dumpster dive
Eat that strawberry, you'll survive
Do it yourself
Dumpster dive
Eat that muffin, eat me alive
On seventh avenue I showed him my bagel
We sat by a fountain and I read him some Hegel
And then we dumpstered lots of schmear
By Christopher Street, along the pier
Do it yourself
Dumpster dive
Eat that strawberry, you'll survive
Do it yourself
Dumpster dive
Eat that muffin, eat me alive
I searched through his junk like a detective
I woke up in an anarchist collective
Something I ate made me glow in the dark
Beware of picnics in Prospect Park
Do it yourself
Dumpster dive
Eat that strawberry, you'll survive
Do it yourself
Dumpster dive
Eat that muffin, eat me alive
Eat that muffin, eat me alive
Eat that muffin, eat me alive
Cha cha cha