Now we go live to every family's endless void It's the Backrooms Holiday Special! It's Christmas in the Backrooms May not be the one you planned Don't you know it is the season To be glitching through the ceiling To a one-tone wonderland? Yes, Christmas in the Backrooms That special time of year (aaah) We've trimmed the trees with wreaths And existential primal fears Every level's looking jolly, hope you brought a lot of holly There's an infinite sprawl of different halls to deck — good golly! Yes, escaping would be folly, take a tip from me That Santa Claus can't fit an exit door beneath the tree So hum to the thrum of the halogen lights But don't wonder if you're gonna see Santa tonight 'Cause the chimney's labyrinthine and there's infinite trees a-glistenin' And there's far too many hearths for gift delivering right Yes, Christmas in the Backrooms A silent nightmare awaits No reindeer hooves upon the roofs Foam tiles won't take the weight (won't take the weight) It's Christmas in the Backrooms And there's no end in sight But try in vain to find your way Inside the maze unwinding chains Of twinkling fairy lights Through cracks in reality Whoops, there goes sanity Won't be roast ham or beef Have a feast sucking the damp There's no calories Also, no January Time is imaginary Trapped in this labyrinth Sing to the carols scrawled all over the room And hope nothing hunting you is drawn to the tune The doors all lead to nothing, so the carollers aren't coming And that distant sound of running likely isn't here to croon (aah) Christmas in the Backrooms Sugar plum dreams of escape Your gift is nothing flashy Just a camera battery And VHS tapes