I was guardin' the point at some dusty old joint My trusty dispenser nearby But along came a rocket when I couldn't block it And I knew that soldier must die So I gave his big noggin' a serious floggin Then put a round in his rear end! And now he's digestin' without his intestines Cause engineers weren't his friend The wrench is his scythe! He's a herald of doom! The Gorge is a grave and the two Fort's a tomb It's too late to duck if you heard it go boom! But Engineers are your friend There! Now you feel more relaxed Chim eeh Well, pirates seems to be enjoying it Heavy fonts happy songs Fine, fine Hhu! let's see I had me a chum who would chug too much rum Then go blow the place up, as kids do But I realized one night as he vanished from sight That ol' Tavish was workin' for BLU When I saw I'd been tricked, I was pretty dang ticked And my fists, well, they started to clench And he screamed and he bled when I took off his head With the business end of this here wrench The blood runs like rivers when I come around I'll blow you to slivers all over the ground! We'll bash you and beat you until we de-feet you But Engineers are your friend At last there's an improvement Do all these stories end in a war crime? Alright bunch of ladies, what the heck do you want to hear about? No! well that is much strong though You tell me you never had a girlfriend? Well; there was one Her name was Katrina, and if she had seen ya You would prob'bly be dead in a box She was little and cute, but hot dog, she could shoot Like a drop-dead'n, three-legged fox! She died from a sapper, but I couldn't scrap her So Trina got made a new twin And her new baby sister, she miserably missed her But never missed no one again And I'd smile and strum on my blood-stained guitar While no-scoping scumbags both near and afar We'll blow all your brains out, whoever you are! Me and all of my friends So don't be afraid to come sit by my fire And toast up a wiener or two But if you double cross me, then things will get saucy And I'll blow a big hole straight through you We'll massacre Medics and skin every Scout! We'll hang every heavy and gouge their eyes out! I'd kill this whole crew, but it ain't wearing blue Oh, Engineers are your friend!