First Noelle, you should know
Susie's love's hard to show
Heart-to-heart's touch-and-go
And her breath smells like chalk
She won't hug, she won't flirt
Just ask everyone she's hurt
Slightly coarse, kinda curt
She's more terminate than talk
Noelle, Noelle, Noelle, Noelle
Sweet as spice and twice as swell
So does Susie like that?
Mmh, probably not
Oh...
Hey, cheer up
Maybe Ralsei can help you
He and Susie have gotten really close
Oh, you don't say?
Well, Noelle, were it me
I'd be kind as can be
Share some sweet Susie tea and
What's that supposed to mean?
Maybe try blushing less
Stand up tall, ditch the dress
And she'll sure be impressed
If you rip out someone's spleen
Noelle, Noelle, Noelle, Noelle
Sweet as spice and twice as swell
Oh-oh
The march of morons has begun, I see
Berdly, what are you doing here?
Being hot and brilliant, obviously
Are these clowns troubling you, m'lady?
What? No
We're helping her impress Susie
What, no one impresses anyone but me
So Noelle needs advice
Be like me, cool, concise
Super smart, dressed real nice
With unobfuscated charm
Get more swole, be less dense
Grow a spine, no offense
Ditch these clowns and commence
Hanging on my beefy arm
Noelle, Noelle, Noelle, Noelle
Sweet as spice and twice as swell
Oh Noelle, sweetie pie, pudding pop, apple dumpling cakes
Oh-oh
Why, you seem to be avoiding me and my peon
Despite my attractive peon dental plan and complementary gift basket
I don't need anything from you
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
That's not what my completely inadvertent eavesdropping tells me
Oh Noelle, never fear
'Cause your friend, Queen, is here
When we're done, be a deer
And please climb inside this cage
Don't say no, think it through
I will never side with you
Not ideal but it'll do
Here's my minion, sign-up page
Noelle, Noelle, Noelle, Noelle
Sweet as spice and twice as swell
Sweet as spice and twice as swell
I'm not really that sweet
And even if I were Susie would hate me
Are you even listening?
Ah!
Each idea, every word
Was the worst that I've heard
From a Queen to a bird
Not a shred of good advice
Yours was bad, yours was worse
Your whole presence is a curse
I can't take another verse
Or I'll freeze us all in ice
Noelle, Noelle, Noelle, Noelle
Sweet as spice and twice as swell