Life was a sitcom about America We were always on our best behavior Masturbating to lift our immune systems Eating less carbohydrates than we wanted I was only seventeen and a half Now I know that the days are getting hotter Guilty pleasures are right around the corner Now I know that the nights are getting colder Guilty pleasures are holding us together Rise and shine It's a wonderful day God did not exist and yet he wanted to You were hotter than a cheap old laptop Just like the ones we looted from target together Always and now, darling, forever I was only seventeen and a half Now I know that the days are getting hotter Guilty pleasures are right around the corner Now I know that the nights are getting colder Guilty pleasures are holding us together Rise and shine It's a wonderful day Now I know that the days are getting hotter Guilty pleasures are right around the corner Now I know that the nights are getting colder Guilty pleasures are holding us together Rise and shine It's a wonderful day