If jesus was alive today He'd have to get hisself a job He'd have the history of the world Tattooed across is ass -- in 47 languages He'd have the names of all his relatives Etched on his brain And everything they left behind But he'd never get around to callin' them To let 'em know that he was alright But he'd be alright He'd be born in suburbia on christmas day Sympathetic to the castaways on gilligan's isle Marooned on an island in a sea of despair Surrounded by water In the ocean of life Another lost soul winds up in prison Sittin' alone throwin' rocks at the sky Slowly ascending, climaxing, descending Catch you off guard Put out your eyes Jesus preachers, preaching jesus Jesus using his own name in vain Six feet deep, but he can't get to sleep Cannot hold a job To save his life