I'm sitting in a park
Drinking some tins
Smoking half a cigarette
I found in a bin
I see a little boy
He jumps off the swings
He hits a load o' nettles and they're stingin' his shins
He's crying for his mother but she isn't around
He's sittin' on the ground making waa waa sounds
I run over to help him
Sit him up on my lap
I make a funny face
He starts to laugh
He says his name is Ivan
I bought him some sweets
I take him by the hand as we walk the streets
I got him a ball o [?] cos he's my favourite boy
I made him promise we'd be friends til the day he dies
Knock knock
Who's there?
It's my little teddy bear!
Spoiling Ivan
Spoiling Ivan
Ding dong
Guess who?
It's my little kangaroo!
Spoiling Ivan
Spoiling Ivan
Never known a boy like you before
He's good at darts and hugging
And doing what he's told
I'd love to get him drunk but Ivan's only six years old
I showed him my big muscles
He thinks they're really cool
He says he wants a snake for christmas
So I bought him two
And when his folks are sleeping
I call around to play
We rob his parents heroin
And throw it all away
We put on rollerblades
And skate around all day
With bellies full of stinky buds
And fizzy lemonade
Knock knock
Who's there?
It's my little teddy bear!
Spoiling Ivan
Spoiling Ivan
Ding dong
Guess who?
It's my little kangaroo
Spoiling Ivan
Spoiling Ivan
And then one summers day
I called around to play
But all the stuff was gone
And Ivan must have moved away
I couldnt take the pain
I took a midnight train
I opened up a little bistro
In the south of spain
And twenty years went by
My heart began to mend
I learnt to live my life alone
Without him as a friend
One day when I was working
A- sweeping up the floor
I heard a voice that brought me back
Bout twenty years or more
I dropped the broom and pan
Across the room I ran
And it was Ivan who'd grown up to be
A lovely man
I said can you imagine
The fun we're going to have
With nothing else to do but hang around
And have a laugh
He says he's much too busy
To join in with my fun
But maybe I can introduce you to my little son
He looks a good bit like him
And boy they act the same
He throws me up a hug by me
Says Nigel is my name
I take him by the hand
And then we walk away
I made him promise we'd be friends until his dying day
Knock knock
Guess who?
It's not Ivan but he'll do!
Spoiling Nigel
Spoiling Nigel
Ding dong
Who's there?
Someone else who really cares
Spoiling Nigel
Spoiling Nigel
Used to know a boy like you before