So many things I do and I don't know why
Opportunity hear me knocking at his door, why he ain't letting me in
Grew up a John Doe, man I was some dust in the wind
In the storm with that umbrella, I got left in the wind
And now the future's what I embody that's the essence within
I used to think that the devil was like a brother to me
That was until I felt the pain of my mother and me
I fell in love with [?] he gonna get enough of them streets
Mad at this whole fucking world, even held a grudge in my sleep
Chip on my shoulder, looking right in the eye of the beholder
Though it's freezing already, seems every night is getting colder
Dear God tell me, why everyone got flaws with you
And if I don't fear no man, why should I be appalled to you
When I got my back against the wall, [?]
I'm confused, cause Father I no longer know which side I'm on
Fuck everybody, this time I know what's right or wrong
I try to do right, but wrong seems so easy
I think about it all the time
I don't know what I'm doing
I look up in the sky and I say oh why
So many things I do and I don't know why
I wanna talk to you Lord, yeah
I wanna talk to you
Every time I look up in that mirror, me and him have a talk
First I speak, then I stop to listen while he's giving his thoughts
You goin' crazy off that boy, did you consider the cost
Cause ever since Bob died it's like your vision's been off
The tide's rough and you cryin' the same rivers you crossed
But you gotta fight through the mistakes for all the niggas you lost
I replied, you're like the friend that I never had
And I got you by my side and for that I'm forever glad
But it's like my heart is more frozen than the Everglades
Still ducking the flames stuck inside the devil's maze
See through my eyes and you'll be looking through a rebel's gaze
Reaching for a light just as a harp up in heaven plays
I've been stacking money, same clothes on for seven days
Getting nowhere, it's like having a job that never pays
This shit is no fair, I guess the sunshine never stays
I'm trapped in the rain, and deemed a victim to the weather's ways
So I pray
Most of the time I'm too occupied with running from myself
I just want to be me, but I'm becoming something else
The reaper hunting for me, to take my soul from my flesh
Since I'm adjacent to anguish, chasing my goals is a test
I'm so impatient, paintings of how I'm feeling will reflect
Daffodils with no water, friends who got killed [?] death
And I'm losing my mind, cause even when I try my hardest
What I usually find is a dead end, I die regardless
But at least while I'm here
Will I get far and what's my limit
How long do I gotta starve
If I'm a star then I'm the dimmest
God I'm searching for [?]
I ain't here to spread it throughout my body like a plague
I switched my life with a [?]
[?] and get shot down the next day
While I'm reclining like I'm paid
Lord I'm looking for light, so tell me why I'm getting shade