I'm a Modern American Vegetarian on the road
I'm a Rastafarian Presbyterian Eskimo
Can I get a walrus burger with some fries?
I'm a nerdy dolphin constellation in the sky
I'm an average height ten-toed polite white guy
I'm a flabby bod Cape Cod boogie boarder bro
A self-proclaimed mother named Scorpio
Can I get a walrus burger for a change?
Based on the coffee stain
Based on the head in my TV that tell me when it's raining
I'm a lactose intolerant bat outta hell bent GI Joe
I'm a slightly sour black power cantaloupe
I'm a funky fresh Bangladesh wedding band
Standing under roaring thunder and falling sand
Can I get a king sized bed in a tiny room?
I'm an over eater joke repeater tour guide
I'm on the fence it's 50 cents for a bus ride
I'm a macchiato from Chicago with heavy cream
Knee deep in a mountain creek, I'm a dry man's dream
Can I get twice as much for half the time?
I'll give you twice my nickels for half your dimes
Based on my farmer's tan
Based on my minivan
I will rise in the fall of man
For I am an American