I Have A Sad Story To Tell You And It May Hurt Your Feelings A Bit My Wee Song Is Not Very Pleasant Cause It's All On The Subject Of... Shaving Cream, Be Nice And Clean Shave Ev'ry Day And You'll Allways Look Clean There Was An Old Woman Lived Near Us She Died In The Middle Of The Night And So To Fullfill Her Last Wishes She Was Burried In Six Foot Of... My Sister Is Fond Of Her Knitting She Knits In The Bathroom Each Night One Time She Dropped All Her Stitches And The Landed In A Big Pile Of... When I Was In France In The Army I Went And I Opened My Kit I Thought That I Might Have A Sandwich But The Darned Thing Was Full Up With... Our Baby Fell Out Of The Window It's Wee Head It Might Have Been Split But Our Child It Was Very Lucky For It Landed In A Big Pile Of... And Now Friends My Story Is Ended I May've Hurt Your Feelings A Bit But If You Did Not Like My Wee Song Stick Your Head In A Big Pile Of... I have a sad story to tell you. It may hurt your feelings a bit. Last night, when I walked in my bathroom, I stepped in a pile of... Shaving cream, be nice and clean! Shave every day, and you'll always look keen. I think I'll break up with my girlfriend. Her antics are queer, I'll admit. Each time I say "Darling, I love you," She tells me that I'm full of... Shaving cream, be nice and clean! Shave every day, and you'll always look keen. A baby fell out of the window. You'd think that her head would be split. But good luck was with her that morning. She fell in a barrel of... Shaving cream, be nice and clean! Shave every day, and you'll always look keen. When I was in France in the Army, One day I looked into my kit. I thought I would find me a sandwich, But the darn thing was loaded with... Shaving cream, be nice and clean! Shave every day, and you'll always look keen. And now, folks, my story is ended. I think it is time I should quit. If any of you feel offended, Stick your head in a barrel of... Shaving cream, be nice and clean! Shave every day, and you'll always look keen