He took nobody there with him And he'll take nobody back He drinks his herbal remedy And tucks his stomach fat He wanders up the hallway Just before his show, he Sees the newlyweds kiss Eyes the bouquet rose He'll play the chords and sing Despite despondent mind Come heartache or hangups, he's your guy Wedding singer, whatcha gonna do? Wedding's over, who'll go home with you? Wedding singer, looks like you're not who you think you are He finds the buffet empty The chicken's cold and gray The dirty chocolate fountain The half-price potpourri He mixes hooch and liquor And grows his lonely grin, he's A soft soul in decline He's a Frenchman in Berlin As he's chewing on a bun I'll always be a bridesmaid And I'll never take one home Wedding singer, whatcha gonna do? Wedding's over, who'll go home with you? Wedding singer, looks like you're not who you think you are I'd like to welcome to the stage, Mr. Misery He's not as bad as he might seem He's just a bird without a tree A player without a team And just like all of us, he learns That life's adjusting dreams Wedding singer, whatcha gonna do? (It's all about adjusting your dreams) Wedding's over, who'll go home with you? (No-one, that's my guess) Wedding singer, looks like you're not who you think you are