Mother and dad handed down to me A bit of their old philosophy I've stuck to it like an obidient daughter But it always lands me in hot water I'd gladly follow up your suggestions If you'd give me the answers to these questions Please tell me is it a crime To start each day with a laugh, and a smile and a song And is it a crime to end each day With a laugh and a smile and a song Is it wrong is it a crime to call the world your valentine Is it a crime to grab a lamp post and then sing sweet??????? Is it a crime to save a wee baby bird when it falls it's nest That little bird should have a chance to fly like all the rest If it's a crime to help old ladies cross the street Then put me in jail without bail Bread and water from an old tin can If that's if that's a crime Is it a crime inspector i'm puzzled We're taught two things as we go through life One, be thy brothers keeper And two, mind your own business With a laugh and a smile and a song Now if i know something and by telling it to someone in disstress I could change that persons life and Bring them the blue bird of happiness Is it a crime to tell them? Or is it a crime not to? It is that you musn't or that you got to? Should you say hey, watch out for that banana peel bud! Or just remain silent and then laugh As he crashes with a thud Inspector my job is to give people messages on time If i have a job and i see it through Then it's just my duty that i do, do, do Is that, is that Inspector let's go back a few thousand years If there had been answering services then And it had been up to me I could have changed the course of history I could have prevented many a famous tragedy With a laugh and a smile and a song For every night i lay in bed my cheeks, my cheeks grow soaking wet When i think of what i could have done For romeo and juliet Hello verona phone Oh yes mister romeo Juliet capulet called The message is: To aviod getting married to other fellow and playing dead This friar lawrence gave me a great big sleeping Pill, but when i wake up we'll head for the boarder Oh, don't thank me! it's all in a days work See what i could have done Maybe i'm right maybe i'm wrong But if i got that message through on time i'm telling you Those two kids would be alive today So if it's a crime to help old ladies Cross the street Then i'll confess i'm just a mess Mother and dad you were wrong i guess Inspector were they wrong Thank you!!!