I've been crucified by all the scribes - You can't see my back for all the knives; The commentators have done all they could: And fair enough - I'm just no good. I try my best, there's no excuse; You come to realise that it's just no use. It's about time everyone understood The simple fact - I'm just no good. This latest effort is pretty drab; Try Harem Scarum, they're always fab. Turn off the radio, I know I would: Let's just face it - I'm just no good. It's about time a rock star spoke, Admitted that his talent was a joke - I'll be the first in the neighbourhood To say without a doubt I'm just no good. Possibly we could get Sting Admitting to his pissant thing - When Dunsinane gets to Birnham Wood, That's when he'll admit he's no good. Then Bono could take a stand, But this time against his band - Morality is his daily food, Why don't he preach, "I'm no good?" Just before we run out of time, That last verse contained an eye rhyme; Now I feel that I should Point out that it wasn't good. The singer has mucked up this song; The guitarist has got it wrong; The bassist, in all likelihood Is like the drummer - just no good.