He called his best friend long distance and told him the news Of his girlfriend's attempted suicide by overdose He hadn't taken her to the emergency room but her room mates did And her stomach was pumped bone dry through a tube It only cost her one thousand dollars in bills And an obligatory psychological review And she stopped crying in her sleep And she stopped walking in her sleep And she stopped sleeping in her sleep too And she said I'm gonna write your name on the walls I'm gonna carve your name in the stalls I'm gonna write your name on the walls I'm gonna carve your name in the stalls Stay away from this man Stay away from this man Stay away from this man He'll make you swallow asprin So she fell in love with a loser who robbed used and bruised her And those were just the salad days After that a habitual clean up with pepto-bismol and prozac She even got a job as a washing machine And he still calls his friend long distance And speaks of his various girlfriends But there's never really much different to tell Eventually they stop crying in their sleep They stopped walking in her sleep And they stopped sleeping in her sleep as well And they write his name on the walls And they carve his name in the stalls And they write his name on the walls And they carve his name in the stalls Stay away from this man Stay away from this man Stay away from this man And then they pick him up in bars and in public parks And then they pick him up in bars, in grocery stores and coffee shops And then he tears through their legs to reach their heart Through their legs to get their heart Through their legs to steal their heart again And it's a headache And so they take A little asprin