I saw him on TV last night
In a suit of somber blue
He said it's time for all Americans
To do what we must do
So take out your X-ray glasses
And your decoder rings
We need ordinary people
To keep an eye on things
So...
I wanna be in Ashcroft's Army
I wanna be a spy
I, I wanna watch my neighbor's doings
Kiss your rights goodbye
In this legal devolution
A perfect time for retribution
Let's just can the constitution
I wanna be a spy
♪
Yeah, I wanna be in Ashcroft's Army
I wanna be a fed
I might look like the meter man
But I'm a spook instead
Delivering pizzas or the mail
Buddy, you can never tell
I'll haul your sorry ass to jail
I wanna be a spy
♪
Yeah, I wanna be in Ashcroft's Army
I wanna be a sleuth
I'm gonna catch some terrorists
Don't worry about the truth
If I see you hanging around
You're wearin' a turban or your skin is brown
You're gonna take a ride downtown
I wanna be a spy
♪
I wanna be in Ashcroft's Army
I wanna be a mole
It's time to show the rest of my neighbors
Just who's in control
The vice president said, "Shame on you!"
The attorney general said it, too
"Don't you criticize what we do!"
I wanna be a spy
♪
Yeah, I wanna be in Ashcroft's Army
I wanna be a G-Man
He used to be a senator
But now he is a free man
He's attorney general instead
'Cause the people of Missouri said
"We'd rather vote for a guy who's dead!"
I wanna be a spy
♪
Yeah, I wanna be in Ashcroft's Army
But still you gotta wonder
Where was all this spying?
When Adelphia went under?
When Enron ran off with the loot
And WorldCom went right down the chute?
Some terrorists wear pinstriped suits
I wanna be a spy