Try and be kind to Mr Humphries in room 5 He gets grumpy trying to keep hope alive And though the well is dried up He won't give or shut up It's still hoping He spent his life on the television He even had a catch phrase of his own Made a great entrance on the stage A free man walking from the cage Millions loved him Hoping His advice to the young Always leave 'em wanting more You can't calm the savage beast But you can make him less of a bore The heart it don't need Brave words or deeds It just keeps hoping Keep it light, keep it bright You're the thing they forget And in the end no one's a friend And your fortune becomes a debt So be kind to Mr Humphries Though you think his role is small A smile that breaks the darkness Never has to beg, never has to crawl Every breath is a prayer It don't cave in or scare It's hoping You won't find the sun If the dead light your way Distract 'em, keep 'em laughing Cause you'll never have enough to pay